tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5362433707008186716.post8439964868327946902..comments2023-06-01T07:00:31.254-05:00Comments on This is Not Hitchhiker's Guide: Write On Edge Prompt: Body Languagedontpanic2011http://www.blogger.com/profile/03748395349482914590noreply@blogger.comBlogger12125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5362433707008186716.post-867168339173924282012-05-10T01:17:29.666-05:002012-05-10T01:17:29.666-05:00I'm loving this scene. Well done! There was so...I'm loving this scene. Well done! There was some POV wobbles, but you nailed the body language! Again, so loving it!Shelton Keys Dunninghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10551666631783476472noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5362433707008186716.post-72193127625057993662012-05-07T17:37:47.005-05:002012-05-07T17:37:47.005-05:00The body language is particularly good--her white ...The body language is particularly good--her white knuckles, the way he needs to strain to hear her. It's very visual. The dialogue flows nicely too.VictoriaKPhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07987993161693042703noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5362433707008186716.post-68643275505741222532012-05-05T17:57:00.895-05:002012-05-05T17:57:00.895-05:00The dialgoue really moves the piece along - but I ...The dialgoue really moves the piece along - but I especially loved the image: "folded in on herself" - a great descriptor of your character!!<br /><br />:)Barbara @ de rebushttp://www.barbaragildea.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5362433707008186716.post-55648073922107241952012-05-05T15:07:21.784-05:002012-05-05T15:07:21.784-05:00This really flowed nicely. The body language was f...This really flowed nicely. The body language was fantastic, the dialogue natural, the tension almost visible. I have no military experience, but I was able to gather she really screwed up. :)<br /><br />Would love to read more.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5362433707008186716.post-4745502389279819442012-05-05T11:07:31.497-05:002012-05-05T11:07:31.497-05:00The body language and blocking are great here, the...The body language and blocking are great here, they really punch up the dialogue.Cameronhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05407917830307384493noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5362433707008186716.post-61278081586696843692012-05-04T22:03:30.976-05:002012-05-04T22:03:30.976-05:00You did a good job letting the tension build in th...You did a good job letting the tension build in their body language as the conversation progressed. It seemed realistic, though my Black Ops experience is fairly limited :) <br /><br />And even if this doesn't end up in the finished story, I think it is always a good thing to dig deeper into the story behind your characters.angelahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14974137283220034062noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5362433707008186716.post-64410300388107253022012-05-04T21:33:45.805-05:002012-05-04T21:33:45.805-05:00I also enjoyed this. I like the word captivating t...I also enjoyed this. I like the word captivating that one of your posters used. Well done!Jenniferhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04383389175383018119noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5362433707008186716.post-16345435300292705992012-05-04T20:44:14.393-05:002012-05-04T20:44:14.393-05:00He sounds like someone you don't want to mess ...He sounds like someone you don't want to mess with.Waterfallhttp://waterfallmind.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5362433707008186716.post-46821763601288264932012-05-04T20:15:04.443-05:002012-05-04T20:15:04.443-05:00captivating. If this character as been "kicki...captivating. If this character as been "kicking around" for a while, maybe that means he's meant to be. Kind of the way I've been writing these days. Letting the kicking around stuff lead the way....Sandra Tylerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13191775335774130719noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5362433707008186716.post-64115869645900475262012-05-04T20:11:35.734-05:002012-05-04T20:11:35.734-05:00I love the juxtaposition between dialogue and acti...I love the juxtaposition between dialogue and actions. It's so true how we say one thing but our body betrays us.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5362433707008186716.post-50246397991285902132012-05-04T20:11:01.667-05:002012-05-04T20:11:01.667-05:00Great job! I like the guy already!Great job! I like the guy already!TMWHickmanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11099277984216556857noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5362433707008186716.post-48901393518904695452012-05-04T19:36:40.514-05:002012-05-04T19:36:40.514-05:00I like the word choices - white knuckles, palming ...I like the word choices - white knuckles, palming door, and the dialogue was sharp and punchy.<br /><br />well done!Lancehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02421199592104616785noreply@blogger.com