Friday, August 5, 2011

Never mind - Still on the Soapbox

Alright.  I know I said I was gonna get off my soapbox.  But I can't help it.  I ran into another situation that just gets to me.  So, please, cut me a little slack as I rant and rave up here on my soapbox for a paragraph or two.  Here goes...

I just want to say some parents drive me nuts!!!!  I was working with the parents of one of my kids at work the other night.  Both parents were there with the kid which is a good sign.  During group, they both agreed that the kid was doing well.  Mom expressed some concern over how soon to trust the kid since the kid's been struggling behaviorally over the last few years.  This is normal and not an issue for me.  What happened next IS the issue.

Mom and dad want to talk to me in my office for a few minutes which was somewhat of a red flag for me.  They wanted to review what the kid's rules were at home.  So I went over it with them.  They were both fine with the rules.  Then Mom wanted to talk to me alone.  Major red flag number 2.  She tells me the kid has violated the rules at least twice.  Dad has not done anything about it and she wanted to know if the kid told me any of this.

Here's a side note issue I have with her wanting to know if the kid admitted this to me.  This is a teenager we're talking about.  Of course the kid isn't going to 'fess up to breaking rules to me when I am the one who will give the kid a consequence for it.  That is normal teenage behavior.  Just walk into any high school in the US - or most anywhere else for that matter - and see if a kid will walk up to a person in authority and admit that they broke a rule with absolutely no more motivation to do so beyond "it's the right thing to do to show honesty".   To me it's a little unreasonable to expect a teenager to come forth of his or her own volition and admit that he or she broke rules to the person who will give him consequences for it.

Now, back to what really bothers me, if you aren't already jumping up and down at the same issues I'm having here.  Why is Dad not holding this kid accountable?  Even bigger issue to me - why aren't these parents on the same page with regards to parenting this kid?  No wonder the kid gets away with breaking rules!  Parents are not suppose to be their kids' best friends!  They are suppose to be parents.  That sometimes means doing unpopular things in the kids' eyes.  Sometimes that means putting up with the kid screaming, kicking and telling parents that the kid(s) hate them and parents have ruined the kid's life.  Trust me.  The kids will get over it and most likely be grateful you parented them as they get older.  Parent them, will ya!

Just for the record.  I do not at this time have kids of my own.  But this is common sense people!  And we wonder why society, generally speaking, is so screwed up now days...

So it was a little more than a paragraph or two.  Thank you for your indulgence as I now attempt to climb down off my soapbox.

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