Friday, April 20, 2012

I have to pee...

I couldn't think of a fiction response to the prompt this week.  So I thought I'd try my hand at something more akin to creative non-fiction/memoir.  I don't usually write in this genre so any concrit you have would be much appreciated.

This week's prompt - Makeover: It’s time for a change in outward appearance, be it a character, yourself, or someone in your life. In 500 words or less, write about a makeover of your choice (hair, clothes, makeup, facial hair for the menfolk), fictional or memoir/creative non-fiction. Let’s think about how physical appearance changes can affect the inner landscape.

I have to pee.  It’s a reoccurring theme in my life lately.  Why?  I’m six months pregnant with my first child right now.  I always knew changes like this came with having a baby, plus a whole myriad more that I never dreamed of and still probably don’t really know about.  I feel like I run to the bathroom every twenty minutes.  I know it’s not that bad at this point, but it certainly feels like it.

Furthermore, I can’t decide which is worse – having to run to the bathroom every couple hours or getting up two or three times a night to pee.  During the day I’ve noticed that it doesn’t matter how recently I went to the bathroom, it doesn’t take long before I have to go again.  Is it just the weight of the baby and everything else?  Is this kid tap dancing on my bladder?  I’m not sure.  What I do know is that inevitably I will have to go once every couple hours.  But, after I lay down to go to sleep, that weight is shifted and baby can no longer tango in bad places.  My body seems to work better and within an hour or so of lying down, guess what – I have to pee.  That’ll happen at least another time or two throughout the night and, once in a while, even more often.

What’s even better yet?  My doctor is constantly reminding me to drink more fluids.  Fluids seem to be the cure all for pregnancy issues from headaches to fatigue to Braxton-Hicks contractions.  I already have to pee way more frequently than I ever did before.  Drinking more fluids is only going to make that worse even if it makes the rest of it better.  Pretty soon I will be taking up residence in the bathroom.  I think that in place of, or at least in addition to, some of the baby samples and coupons, toilet paper companies should send out samples and coupons to pregnant women as well.  They’re missing out on a great marketing opportunity.

Now, don’t get me wrong.  I do understand very well that so far I have had a pretty easy pregnancy.  No significant morning sickness, no major appearance changes other than the complete lack of any waist line to speak of, and no complications.  Everything has been about as textbook as possible.  Compared to what I could be dealing with, I will take the frequent trips to the bathroom any day.  I wouldn’t trade this for the world, though.  I’ve felt my baby kicking and moving for a little while.  I already can’t imagine life without the baby at this point.  I look forward to what life has in store for me once the baby gets here.  Until then, frequent trips to the bathroom are a major change for me and I needed to whine about it a little.  Or at least give a few people a laugh today.

On that note, I have to pee…


  1. Well, I got a chuckle out of it. :)

    I firmly believe (and having had four children, I think I have a right to my belief!) that God instituted the third trimester (and the second, evidently!) inability to sleep to prepare you for being up with the baby. :)

  2. Good luck with your baby. Thanks for visiting my place.

    and I did laugh

  3. I don't do well with memoir writing on my own. It always turns out to be some long-suffered rant. So you'll get little help from me in this department, I think. The mommy thing too, I'm not a mommy and in fact the whole idea of pregnancy kinda grosses me out. I leave mommyhood to people like you who are better women than I'll ever be.

    Still, I laughed and remembered all the stops we made when I traveled cross-state with a pregnant friend. Each rest area, gas station off the highway, and one "Just pull over and let me squat" was recalled fresh to my mind. So, that being the case, I think you can officially count this post as successful. It conjured images and people can relate

    Fantastic job, and thanks for making me laugh!

  4. Oh my goodness. All I did is pee for 9 months. Twice. And now, to tell you more than you ever wanted to know, I still pee at the drop of a hat.


  5. OH my. Yes. I found that I started to feel like I needed to get up and go as I was reading. I think this is great, you definitely tapped in to something that I think lots of people can relate to, children or not...

    I had a twin boys, so I had TWO of them tap-dancing on my bladder....

  6. Best wishes for the baby :)

    And, yes this post was real fun to read.

  7. You've made a good start here, in that you're taking something at once universal and very personal, and using it to frame a small part of your story.

    I'd love to see you turn even more inward, and flex your fiction writing muscles in a truestory way. Think of yourself as a character in the first person and show us these moments of awareness with more imagery and descriptive language and you'll be all the way there.

  8. You definitely made me giggle. Pee in good health, my pregnant, bloggy friend!

  9. I remember this. And I'm getting glee watching my daughter go through it.
    Thanks for the extra giggle. Good job and well written.

  10. Thanks alot, now I have to pee! Just kidding!

    So funny! I didn't have the peeing problem too much with my first child, but my second was bigger and she loved to sit on my bladder causing the most horrible bladder spasms.

    If I were critiquing, I would say to listen to Cameron's advice above. To add imagery, a little bit of color and even a slight embellishment doesn't necessarily take away from the memoir aspect.

    But this piece was fun and I related. Great job!

  11. Oh, that is one part of pregnancy that I do not miss. I was nodding my head all the way through.

  12. Ahhh, I remember those days. My plan is to pay 'em back in embarrassing prom pictures some day...