Nerves

The Stream of Consciousness Prompt from Notebook Sisters this week was "it makes me nervous".  So here's my 5 minutes on that prompt:



I used to think the biggest thing that made me nervous was when the kids at work were quiet.  See I work as a chemical health counselor for adolescents.  So, when they get quiet it just about always means trouble.  That trouble usually equates to calls to parents and/or probation officers.  Sometimes it even means that the police come and take one of these teenagers to the juvenile detention center for a probation violation.

Then I found out I was pregnant.  Please keep in mind, I had no basis for the worries that came next.  I worried that something would happen and I would miscarry.  Then I worried that something would be wrong with my baby.  Then I worried that I would do something to hurt my baby.

When those worries proved baseless, I worried about labor.  The only legitimate worry I had there was that while in labor, my son's heart rate kept dropping.  So I had a C-section.

Now I worry about him - is he okay?  Does this particular sneeze/rash/face/etc mean something more than a sneeze/rash/face/etc.  When I leave him with someone else (yes, even my husband) I worry about whether or not he's okay.  Pretty much all of these fears (especially leaving him with my husband) are baseless as well.

Good thing I rarely ever act on those worries!

5 minutes - stop.

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