Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Here's an interesting observation for you. First, understand that I work 2 jobs. One of them is at an adolescent chemical health treatment facility. Furthermore, we teach the AA 12 steps there. Now, the other day I was having a discussion with one of the kids about AA Steps 2 and 3. We talked about how Step 2 is about asking for help and how Step 3, in part, is about accepting the help we've asked for. This kid was struggling with the idea that someone could ask for help without being willing to accept it. This kid was thinking that it was not possible to have one without the other. So we talked about how this actually is possible for someone to do just that.

Here's where my interesting observation comes in. This conversation has been in the back of my mind as it had just recently occurred. Then, I had an incident where a parent of a kid essentially called me worthless, incompetent unprofessional and immature (and that's putting it rather mildly considering the words that were used and yes, I responded to this parent very maturely and professionally). After ending the conversation and taking a while to calm down, I started thinking about the incident and realized this was a perfect example of how someone can ask for help without actually accepting it. This got me thinking and led to the observation of how frequently I have seen this. And it hasn't been just at the treatment center. I have seen it at my other job as well.

Now I could go on about how sad, unfair, and possibly even ridiculous this is. But then I think, what would the point of that be? Will it change anything? Will it even make me feel better or will it keep me stuck focusing on something I can't do much about? Unfortunately, I have come to the conclusion that this is something I have to learn to accept because too many people do this kind of thing. The best I can do is continue to try to teach the kids I work with that when they ask for help they also need to be open to accepting it, even when they may not really like it.

1 comment:

  1. I know the truth in this very very well. When you are a parent, you ask for advice but then parental pride steps in and says, 'pfft, I know how to care for my own child.' I can honestly say I have not had that but I have given advice to other parents who ask for it and then they turn around and do the exact opposite of what it is I suggested. I believe I have even got insulted for giving my 'asked for' advice on occasion. It is just another fact of human nature as long as we let pride into our lives.