Friday, June 22, 2012

No Passive Voices!

I know I haven't written much other than the prompts at Write On Edge lately.  I could use the excuse that I'm still trying to get ready for this baby or that Camp NaNoWriMo has taken up quite a bit of my time.  Both of which are true.  But I feel bad for neglecting to post more often.  That being said, I promise, there'll be more coming soon!

Now, on to the prompt for the week -

For Today, we gave you a short challenge. Three fairly generic passive phrases. Your goal wass to make them active in a short scene, either fiction or non-fiction. You could choose one, two, or all three to play with, but you only had 100 words.
[he/she/I] was devastated by [...]
[feeling] was experienced by [...]
[person/thing] was possessed by [...]

I had to return to Emma, Kris and James in One Night in Dusseldorf for this one.  It came in at 98 words.



As I weighed the options, something strange possessed me – a reckless, wild feeling.  I didn’t care what anyone else thought.  Kris offered me passage into an exciting, dangerous world.  I didn’t know if I’d survive it.  I didn’t care.  And that wasn’t like me.

I think they knew that spirit possessed me.  I saw it in the way they looked at me.  It was as if they knew what it was, as if they knew the words hovering on the edge of my lips.

My heart pounding and hands shaking I replied, “Lead on.  I’m seeing this through.”

20 comments:

  1. Recless feeling indeed. Having been there I'd say that's a pretty accurate description.

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    1. Thanks! I'm glad to hear it rings true.

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    1. That is a very good question. At this point I don't have an answer so I'm right there with you on that!

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  3. Oh, I love your take--without seeing the original piece, I'm already hooked.

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  4. Surrendering to recklessness. I love it!

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    1. It's one of those things I think we all secretly wish we could do a little more - which is what makes it fun to explore the notion.

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  5. Nice job. 100 words isn't very much, but I think you conveyed something pretty universal -- whatever it is that is going to happen could be...anything! I can see this leading in all sorts of interesting directions!

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    1. Thanks! I agree with you on the 100 word limit - that's REALLY short. I'm glad to hear my POV came through in such a short piece.

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  6. Makes me want to see more. Great take on the prompt!

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    1. Thanks! Me too, seeing as I have no idea where the overall story is going!

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    1. Let's hope she doesn't regret it. Thanks!

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    1. Thanks and thanks for stopping by!

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  9. I like this! I think it's a great moment to capture.

    In terms of editing, I might get rid of "something strange" and just use ". . . a reckless, wild feeling possessed me." I think you do a great job of explaining the ramifications of it and can say it without qualifying it as "strange."

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    1. Yeah - when I look at it again it doesn't really convey what I wanted that part to do. Thanks for stopping by!

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  10. Is it fair to cut/paste Angela's comment?

    I like the internal struggle that lies under this, too.

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    1. Thank you! I'm looking at that phrase again...

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