Things No One Tells You

Wow. I've rather neglected my blog and writing for these challenges. I had good intentions. However my son has had other plans - and I've found it difficult to reason with a five week old. Anyways, this week's Trifecta challenge played perfectly into a post I've been thinking of. Here's this week's word:

AMPLE (adj.)
1: generous or more than adequate in size, scope, or capacity
2: generously sufficient to satisfy a requirement or need
3: buxom, portly

Please remember:
Your response must be between 33 and 333 words.
You must use the 3rd definition of the given word in your post.
The word itself needs to be included in your response.
You may not use a variation of the word; it needs to be exactly as stated above.

Here's my response:

I’ve decided that if kids would be taught about ALL of the things that go along with having a baby, there’d be fewer pregnant teenagers. Trust me, my son is 5 weeks old today and there are a lot of things I’ve learned the hard way. I was ready for the fussiness at all hours of the night, the multitudinous diaper changes and constant demands for bottles. I knew I’d gain a bunch of weight and have to work to lose it. But, there are some things no one ever told me about.

I’ve learned that, at least for me, my figure is quite enhanced by having a baby. Many people would consider this a good thing. However, I had a rather ample figure to begin with. Therefore, even though I’ve lost enough weight to fit into my pre-pregnancy tops, I still can’t wear them due to the largesse up there.

To go along with that, I’ve also learned that finding nursing bras is next to impossible. You’d think I was asking for someone’s head on a platter by the looks I’ve gotten from sales people when I’ve asked for them.

Sticking with the same theme, I’ve also learned that if you aren’t diligent in pumping or nursing, it hurts. It hurts even in your armpits.

To change the theme a little, I’ve also learned how to diaper a boy. Yes, it’s different than diapering a girl. If you don’t do it properly, not only will you be changing a diaper next time he gets it wet, you’ll be changing his clothes as well. Often that’s about 20 minutes after you’ve dressed him. You’ll also be changing your clothes, the cover on the changing pad and wiping down the wall and carpet as well.

While I could go on about other things I’ve learned that no one tells you before having a baby, I think I’ll save them for some other time. Now it’s time to go check on my son.