Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Things No One Tells You

Wow. I've rather neglected my blog and writing for these challenges. I had good intentions. However my son has had other plans - and I've found it difficult to reason with a five week old. Anyways, this week's Trifecta challenge played perfectly into a post I've been thinking of. Here's this week's word:

AMPLE (adj.)
1: generous or more than adequate in size, scope, or capacity
2: generously sufficient to satisfy a requirement or need
3: buxom, portly

Please remember:
Your response must be between 33 and 333 words.
You must use the 3rd definition of the given word in your post.
The word itself needs to be included in your response.
You may not use a variation of the word; it needs to be exactly as stated above.

Here's my response:

I’ve decided that if kids would be taught about ALL of the things that go along with having a baby, there’d be fewer pregnant teenagers. Trust me, my son is 5 weeks old today and there are a lot of things I’ve learned the hard way. I was ready for the fussiness at all hours of the night, the multitudinous diaper changes and constant demands for bottles. I knew I’d gain a bunch of weight and have to work to lose it. But, there are some things no one ever told me about.

I’ve learned that, at least for me, my figure is quite enhanced by having a baby. Many people would consider this a good thing. However, I had a rather ample figure to begin with. Therefore, even though I’ve lost enough weight to fit into my pre-pregnancy tops, I still can’t wear them due to the largesse up there.

To go along with that, I’ve also learned that finding nursing bras is next to impossible. You’d think I was asking for someone’s head on a platter by the looks I’ve gotten from sales people when I’ve asked for them.

Sticking with the same theme, I’ve also learned that if you aren’t diligent in pumping or nursing, it hurts. It hurts even in your armpits.

To change the theme a little, I’ve also learned how to diaper a boy. Yes, it’s different than diapering a girl. If you don’t do it properly, not only will you be changing a diaper next time he gets it wet, you’ll be changing his clothes as well. Often that’s about 20 minutes after you’ve dressed him. You’ll also be changing your clothes, the cover on the changing pad and wiping down the wall and carpet as well.

While I could go on about other things I’ve learned that no one tells you before having a baby, I think I’ll save them for some other time. Now it’s time to go check on my son.

26 comments:

  1. Glad to see you back. It sounds like you're getting into the swing of things - at only 5 weeks, that's darn impressive!

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    1. Well - he has a routine. I don't know that I like it since it tends to involve staying up for several hours at like 1 or 2 AM... We're still working on a routine we both agree on.

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  2. Good for you for getting into a routine. Mine are teenagers and I still haven't mastered that. Love your ample figure, it did a lot to get your child here. :)

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    1. And for my ample figure I am very grateful. I love my son beyond words. My wardrobe can suffer for him. Even when he is crying like crazy and I can't figure out why.

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  3. Ah, these new adventures. Congratulations!

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    1. And an adventure it is. Thanks and thanks for stopping by!

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  4. Hehehe. I have two boys, so I'm very familiar with the diaper changes. I got watered a couple times. Glad you're fitting writing into your routine. Good luck :)

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    1. I've changed boys' diapers before so I THOUGHT I was prepared. However, my son has this delayed reaction thing where I think I'm safe in taking that diaper off and then he gets me...

      Thanks for stopping by!

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  5. Aw! Congratulations! Yeah, nobody tells you ANY of the stuff you really need to know. Like how sometimes you'll still have a nearly-four-year-old who doesn't sleep through the night. If they told you that, nobody would ever have another baby ever. Ever.

    But still. They're cute. And sweet. Enjoy him. Thanks for linking up.

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    1. I agree - it's a great thing that the upsides easily outweigh the downsides. But it would be nice to be forwarned about some of these things...

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  6. Embrace your ampleness! No doubt your hubby loves it. Yes...cover the winkie (what we called it when my son was little) because, as you know, WE pay for our negligence. I hope you're managing to get some rest!

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    1. Yep. My hubby is enjoying the added ampleness and we both are learning to be pretty cautious about those diaper changes. Thanks for stopping by!

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  7. My youngest daughter was born when my oldest daughter was 8. She said that was the best birth control I could have given her!

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    1. That's it! Rather than the dolls high schools have, make all middle schoolers live with a newborn for a while where they have to take care of the baby! Okay - maybe it won't work but I love the idea. Thanks for visiting.

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  8. Ha, great use of the prompt - I have a feeling the list of things people should find out before having a baby could provide ample (I know, not the right form) material for dozens of posts.

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    1. Yeah - I have the feeling I'll have several more posts worth of entertaining material about things no one talks about with having a baby...

      Thanks!

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  9. My hat is off to you. I can't imagine doing any writing at all when my kids were five weeks old! I doubt I could have spelled my name right!

    And yes indeed, ample is the perfect word for the body of a nursing mom!

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    1. Oh, trust me, there is MUCH revision that needs to be done with anything I'm accomplishing since my son was born...

      Thanks for stopping over!

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  10. Congratulations on the new baby, and yes, even if people told you everything, you still wouldn't really know it until you lived it.

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    1. Yeah, you've got a point. There is something to be said for just having to do it.

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  11. funny, I don't remember being ample after giving birth. My boobs turned to rags and I lost a ton of weight, my son sucking the life out of me.

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    1. Maybe it's me - but then again - I was rather ample prior to giving birth so maybe that has something to do with it? I'd love to lose a little weight though!

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  12. i like that your response is very, well, nonfiction. and spoken from experience. i've never had a child; however, once my best friend had her daughter, i got to learn all the fun details.
    as she said, there needs to be not a class, but an internship for it haha

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    1. Oh yeah - several internships starting at about age 13 for both boys as well as girls. The experience has been interesting and even entertaining at times so far.

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  13. Yahah! Our son peed right over my head and into my husband's eye his first day home from the hospital. The trick to nursing bras is catalogues like Lady Grace (the all lingerie channel of bra shopping) or the Just My Size people. Online is better once you know your size. Because holy GOD they think you're going to whip them out and start nursing right there in the store. And also, I know exactly what you mean about how addictive the prompts are.

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    1. I never thought about online shopping for nursing bras - that's a great idea. I love the trick your son pulled, too funny!! Thanks for coming by.

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