Be sure to check out my earlier post - How to Survive. I am just realizing there's a bit of a theme to my bits today.
Anyways. This one is my take on the prompt from Write on Edge's new prompt format, Write at the Merge. We get a standing 500 words and two things with which to inspire our piece. This week the two things were the song "The Past and Pending" by The Shins and the word "wish".
While coming in well under the 500 words, I'm not sure my piece needs much else. Don't get me wrong. A bit of fine tuning and editing wouldn't hurt, but I don't know that it needs huge amounts of expansion. Please let me know if I am wrong on that one. Also be sure to check out the other takes on the prompt here.
On that note - here's my piece.
I sat there, caressing the cold, matte black metal. This is what my life came down to. Looking at the hardened steel, I wondered how
much blood was on my hands. More than I
really wanted to admit. I know that for
sure.
That train of thought led me to idle speculation about what
my life could have been like. There was
no question where it was going. A hard,
probably brutal, death on the street was all I could look forward to. But what could it have been like? What if I would have just accepted being a
hot bit to look at on some rich guy’s arm?
Yeah. I’d have had to accept some
damn distasteful things while I was at it.
Would that life have been so bad?.
But I knew I was kidding myself.
I couldn’t have lived that life.
I would never have been able to accept anyone walking on me. Not after what happened.
That night was why I did what I did, why I became what I
am. I wasn’t going to let anyone walk on
me ever again. It took a long time, a
fair amount of pain and more blood than I could ever wash away, but no one has
ever taken advantage of me again. They
said I’d never make it in this life; that being a female in this line of work
was ridiculous. Most everyone who’s had
the balls to tell me that to my face aren’t saying much anymore. I’ve gone up against the best when they’ve
come after me. And I’ve won.
But there’s a small part of me that wishes I could go back and
undo my past; that I could take the high road instead of selling myself out.
A small noise broke into my thoughts. Soft taps of footsteps on pavement were
heading my way. The time for thinking
was over. I had to work.
I like this piece because it has a bit of a moral scale happening. After all, who gets to decide what exactly is selling out for each individual? You did a great job contrasting her inner thoughts with the brusque professionalism at the beginning and end of the piece.
ReplyDelete~Angela
Thanks. I am glad to hear the contrast I was going for worked.
DeleteSometimes the short pieces are the most poignant.
ReplyDeleteYeah. I agree. I'm still working on fine tuning the practice of short pieces.
DeleteThe story is as long as the story needs to be. Just because a word limit gives you more space doesn't mean you have to use all of it. Yes, I'm with you there.
ReplyDeleteI always enjoy your pieces. I think this girl could have a full story dedicated to each of her business transactions. Something to consider if you haven't already. :)
Great take on the prompt!
It would be fun to explore some of what she's done. I'll have to keep that one in mind.
DeleteI love her bravado and the moment when she confesses that she still longs for something else, even just a little.
ReplyDeleteThanks!
DeleteGreat job! It is nice to see a woman in the role of hitperson--just to show that we could do it, if we wanted.
ReplyDeleteI am so happy you knew what she was. I figured it was a rather unusual role for her and wasn't sure it was clear.
DeleteThe cold metal does a great job of setting the tone here. I get the impression that where she is is a cold place, like a metal or concrete bench. That sense of unyielding cold is pervasive.
ReplyDeleteThank you. I was trying to give that hard, impersonal, business sense to this. Given the kind of business she is in, knowing the coldness shows through is perfect.
Delete