Anyways, I did combine Trifecta's prompt, the word path as in course, route or way of life, and part of Write at the Merge's prompt, a stained glass window to bring you this. I did just, unfortunately, realize I didn't get this done in time to link up to Trifecta's challenge, but that's okay.
It is the next part of the story of Emma, James and Kris. If you've missed some of the story, the tab labeled One Night In Dusseldorf at the top will give you the links to the rest of the story. Here it is. Please enjoy.
I still couldn’t wrap my mind around what Kris was
saying. It sounded so unbelievably
ridiculous, but he was serious. I could
almost hear the air between us crackling with the tension of the moment. He wanted me, needed me, to believe him. I just stood there like an idiot unsure of
myself.
“Follow me,” he snapped, loping off into the woods.
I trailed behind him, still trying to digest his words. I rounded a bend in the path and
stopped. The path descended into a small
hollow. In the center was a small rough
stone chapel like building. The windows
were stained glass that threw brilliant rainbows around the clearing. It looked like a sea of color had rained down
and filled the depression.
Kris gestured and I stepped up to the building. It was older than I’d first thought. Being the daughter of a historian
specializing in architecture came in handy right then. I estimated the tiny structure to be at least
five to six centuries old, maybe older.
“My great-great grandfather built this chapel. He wanted to remind my people of the choice
we made back then. My people were dying,
hunted and feared by missionaries to this land who didn’t understand us. A druid came to my great-great grandfather
and offered him a choice. One path led
to a life where we survived but had to adapt to a new world. The other one ended with my people being
hunted down like rabid dogs.”
As he told me this story, we circled the chapel. Each window depicted in surprising color and
detail different scenes from the story.
We stopped in front of the south end.
The window covered most of the wall.
And indicated the choice that was made.
“We agreed to become the guardians of the druids. That druid changed us to make us better protectors.”
Then it happened. The
air around Kris shimmered. He
disappeared. In his place was a black
wolf watching me with Kris’s eyes.
Also, please head on over to Trifecta and Write at the Merge's websites to read other great authors and their inspirations from the prompts.
Ooh, love the way this scene unfolds and especially the way it ends. I think the structure may need a little tightening, but that's it and not too bad for a "Owler". :) I'm not sure about the "Like an idiot, unsure of myself". It didn't fit the scene.
ReplyDeleteWhen you revisit: try "I still couldn’t wrap my mind around what Kris was saying. His story was absurd, ridiculous, but he sounded so serious. The air between us crackled with tension. He wanted - needed - me to believe him; I could see the desperation in his eyes. Could I believe him when I felt so dumb standing in his world?"
Changing the focus from Kris sounding ridiculous but he was serious, to his words were ridiculous but he sounded serious, shifts the tone. She's just been fed a story that is contrary to anything she's been told before. It's okay for her to feel uncomfortable, and even angry at this story.
But don't change the last line whatever you do. That's a brilliant line to end a chapter on. Well done!
Thanks for the concrit. I love your suggestion. I didn't really like that part but I couldn't figure out how to word it better. And I won't touch that last line! :)
DeleteAh, the origin myth! I love the backstory!
ReplyDeleteThanks. I figured it was a good way to explain a little without just putting it out there as an explanation. It just seemed to fit to convince Emma that way.
Delete